this feeling calls for everything I can't afford to know is possible now

Jyn had barely left Cassian's side since she first caught sight of him walking up to her ship. Really, it was as much for his sake as her own. He was the one who'd newly arrived here; she was helping him acclimate. That she didn't particularly want to be away from him, half-convinced that he would just be gone again, was true but secondarily so. At least, she kept telling herself as much, which had to be a start. Eventually, she might even begin to believe it.

Even so, she wasn't good at staying still, and even if she had been, she wouldn't have wanted to hover too much. He knew how to contact her if he needed. It wouldn't have done either of them any good for her to veer from helping into acting like he couldn't do this on his own. Desperate for a chance to breathe a little easier and get her absolute mess of thoughts in order, she ventured out for the afternoon. This time, unlike that first day, she knew where she was going when she left the ship, too. Greta was one of the people here she'd known the longest, who had met her when she was still with Cassian the first time around; she was kind but sensible, someone who would likely be upfront with her and maybe even be able to help her get her head around all of this. Force knew keeping it all in her own head wasn't getting anywhere, leading to more confusion and complication when she already had both of those in abundance.

She also would most likely have dough. It was, perhaps, a ridiculous thought, but since the train crash a year and a half ago, hitting things hadn't always been the best for her injured shoulder. She'd healed well enough, but it still bothered her sometimes. She'd figured out that time the city nearly emptied out and she had helped Greta in the kitchen that kneading bread dough could be just as therapeutic, which seemed like exactly what she needed.

So, after knocking at the door, she offered in lieu of a usual greeting, "D'you have anything that needs kneading?"

show me how to lay my sword down

It didn't take long for them to settle into a rhythm. Jyn wasn't sure if that was surprising, or if it wasn't in the slightest. For both to somehow be true shouldn't have been possible, and yet that was how it felt. Whichever of the two would win out, though, it also felt good, falling asleep beside him at night and waking with his arms around her, watching him fit into the life she'd carved out for herself here like a missing piece slotting into place.

She didn't actually want to think of it that way. That, in short, was the source of so much of her continued conflict and confusion: not wanting to rebuild a life with and around him when it left her so wrecked to lose that before. As usual, though, her heart had other plans. She never was as good at closing herself off as she liked to portray herself, and he was— well, him. Not the person who'd been here before, but still the person whom she trusted more than she had ever let herself trust anyone, who came back for her time and again. In a way, he'd done the same here.

He was still the person she fell in love with, although she still hadn't used that word. It hovered, always there on the roof of her mouth, but she couldn't allow it out. For the sake of her own self-preservation and for his sake too, not wanting to pressure him or lead him to believe that she saw him only as the one who'd been here with her before, which she at least didn't think she was. Besides, having had no restraint at all the first time around, maybe it was better for maintaining that distinction to take things slow and see what happened, even if it became more difficult with each passing day not to act on how she felt about him.

Things were... well, good. Jyn had trouble trusting that, but she did not have trouble trusting him, so she tried to keep her focus on the latter. Nights were still sometimes interrupted by bad dreams, and she was still working on catching him up about this place, but given where they'd both started — and, for that matter, where they'd both ended — that was all to be expected, and not enough to lessen that overall judgment. Things were good. It was working. She really, really wanted it to work.

When he mentioned wanting to explore, testing some of the city's limits, Jyn hadn't hesitated to agree. She'd told him maybe his second day here that she would help him figure it out in any way she could, and she would hardly object to the idea of getting out for a while. Even in the comfort of her ship, she got restless easily.

Having taken a moment to water the plants in her garden before setting out, she looked up at Cassian when he emerged from the ship to join her. "Ready to go?" she asked. "Are we heading east or west?"