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Aug. 5th, 2018 01:24 amWhen she'd first had the idea to do this, Jyn had been ready to walk right in and get it done without a moment's pause. She's always been as impulsive as she is cautious, and knowing full well that nothing could change her mind, she hadn't seen any reason to wait. The shop had been busy, though, too much so for a walk-in, and frustrating as it might have been, she'd begrudgingly made an appointment for a few weeks down the line.
Those few weeks have passed. In retrospect, it's probably not a bad thing, having had time to really consider what she's doing, but her thoughts on the matter are the same as they've been since the day she accidentally dropped her necklace down a storm drain. The ring Cassian gave her when he asked her to marry him is just a symbol, nothing that somehow stands in place of their entire relationship, but even something she treasures so dearly might not be with her forever. She wants something that can't be lost or taken from her, something tangible but permanent.
It's an odd subject for her, permanence, and a difficult thing to try to wrap her head around even now. Nothing in her life has ever fit that description before, and for a long time, she actively avoided it, making sure she had no attachments, that she stayed perpetually on the move. When it comes to anything physical, that's even more the case. A potentially defining mark would have been a dangerous thing before, making it easier to link one of her aliases to another, from which nothing good would ever have come. Maybe none of them would have led back to her real identity, but it still would have been a hell of a lot worse for the rest of them to be connected, defeating the purpose entirely.
Darrow is different, though. Cassian has reminded her of that on multiple occasions, and she knows he's right. The fact that she would actively seek out anything so lasting at all seems like proof of that. Whatever apprehensiveness she may have, she knows it's the result of old habits rather than anything else. It's certainly not enough to change her mind. Months ago, she said her vows and signed some papers and wouldn't downplay any of that for a second, but although this is for her, in a way, it seems almost like an even bigger commitment. There's no undoing this. And while it may be just one word inked on her skin, it's a weighty one, something she had forgotten entirely could exist until he reminded her of it. Except for her having gotten him to write it so she'll have it in his handwriting, it matches the inscription on the inside of his ring, which makes it mean all the more.
Her own ring is on her hand, though that isn't where she usually keeps it. With the position of the tattoo, though — against her ribs, from her side to under her breast — she can't wear a shirt to have it done, and so she's left her necklace at home, having far fewer compunctions about having someone see her body than having them see her kyber crystal. She can't claim anymore that Cassian is the only person who has in years, but that doesn't mean she's about to go showing it off.
Lying on her side while the artist gets ready to start, she looks up at Cassian, having not been about to do this without him here. "If you're going to try to talk me out of this, now's your last chance."
Those few weeks have passed. In retrospect, it's probably not a bad thing, having had time to really consider what she's doing, but her thoughts on the matter are the same as they've been since the day she accidentally dropped her necklace down a storm drain. The ring Cassian gave her when he asked her to marry him is just a symbol, nothing that somehow stands in place of their entire relationship, but even something she treasures so dearly might not be with her forever. She wants something that can't be lost or taken from her, something tangible but permanent.
It's an odd subject for her, permanence, and a difficult thing to try to wrap her head around even now. Nothing in her life has ever fit that description before, and for a long time, she actively avoided it, making sure she had no attachments, that she stayed perpetually on the move. When it comes to anything physical, that's even more the case. A potentially defining mark would have been a dangerous thing before, making it easier to link one of her aliases to another, from which nothing good would ever have come. Maybe none of them would have led back to her real identity, but it still would have been a hell of a lot worse for the rest of them to be connected, defeating the purpose entirely.
Darrow is different, though. Cassian has reminded her of that on multiple occasions, and she knows he's right. The fact that she would actively seek out anything so lasting at all seems like proof of that. Whatever apprehensiveness she may have, she knows it's the result of old habits rather than anything else. It's certainly not enough to change her mind. Months ago, she said her vows and signed some papers and wouldn't downplay any of that for a second, but although this is for her, in a way, it seems almost like an even bigger commitment. There's no undoing this. And while it may be just one word inked on her skin, it's a weighty one, something she had forgotten entirely could exist until he reminded her of it. Except for her having gotten him to write it so she'll have it in his handwriting, it matches the inscription on the inside of his ring, which makes it mean all the more.
Her own ring is on her hand, though that isn't where she usually keeps it. With the position of the tattoo, though — against her ribs, from her side to under her breast — she can't wear a shirt to have it done, and so she's left her necklace at home, having far fewer compunctions about having someone see her body than having them see her kyber crystal. She can't claim anymore that Cassian is the only person who has in years, but that doesn't mean she's about to go showing it off.
Lying on her side while the artist gets ready to start, she looks up at Cassian, having not been about to do this without him here. "If you're going to try to talk me out of this, now's your last chance."
